When we last saw our crusaders, Lady Buffy had hacked the Black Knight into little pieces. ("Yeah, keep running if you know what’s good for you!") In another part of the forest, Lady Willow, Sir Giles and Sir Lancelot had saved King Xander from almost certain enjoyment at the hands of four score beautiful, but lonely, young women. They then headed south to find Lady Buffy and her party. Thoughtfully, King Xander was banned from dragging Sir Angels box. Now back to our story.

Lady Cordelia, the Self-Involved: "Are we lost or something?"

Lady Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: "It’s got to be down this path."

Sir Robin, the Not So Brave: "Wait, did you hear that?"

Lady Cordelia: "What?"

Lady Buffy: "Shh."

Lady Cordelia: "Why?"

Lady Buffy: "I hear it."

Lady Cordelia: "Where?"

Sir Robin points at the bushes ahead of them: "There!"

Suddenly, something came barging through the shrubbery. "Ha!"

All: "Ahh!!!"

Lady Buffy: "Sir Lancelot! Stop!"

Sir Robin: "I soiled my armor."

Xander, King of the Cretins: "Oh, we needed to know that!"

Sir Giles, the Wise: "We hoped we’d find you. I take it you haven’t found the Grail either."

Lady Cordelia: "No. How did you find us so fast?"

Lady Willow, the Pure: "Well, we just followed the path here from the last castle. But then it dead ended in those bushes."

King Xander: "Then we heard noises."

Sir Lancelot: We thought you were the Knights of Ni again. So we attacked."

Lady Buffy: "The Knights of who?"

King Xander: "Nu."

Lady Willow: "No, not nu, Ni."

King Xander: "No?"

Lady Buffy: "No, not no, Ni."

King Xander: "Oh, I knew it’s not no. I said ‘No?’ ‘cause I thought Ni was nu..."

Sir Giles: "Enough, I’m developing a headache."

Lady Willow: "Ni."

King Xander: "I know."

Sir Giles: "Stop!"

Lady Willow and King Xander: "Sorry."

Sir Giles: "Thank you! Now, I was talking with Brother Maynard, and we believe that the Grail is located somewhere down this path."

Lady Buffy: "Could you vague that up for us anymore?"

Sir Giles: "Now is not the time to try me Buffy."

Lady Willow puts her hand over King Xander’s mouth to stop him from making a comment.

The group continues down the forest path that Lady Buffy’s party had already been following. Soon they reach a barren clearing. In the middle of the clearing is a man who is throwing fire balls around in a spectacular display. They approach him. Just as Sir Giles is about to speak, the man turns around.

Sir Giles: "What manner of man are you that can summon fire without flint or tinder?"

The Man: "I am an enchanter."

Sir Giles: "By what name are you known?"

Enchanter: "There are some who call me...Joss?"

Sir Giles: "Greetings, Joss, the Enchanter."

Joss, the Enchanter: "Greetings, Sir Giles, Knight of the Library Table."

Sir Giles: "You know my name?"

Joss, the Enchanter: "I do." He shoots a fireball at a nearby tree. "You seek the Holy Grail."

Sir Giles: "You know much that is hidden, O Joss."

Joss, the Enchanter: "Quite." Joss proceeds to blow up half of the landscape. Very impressive effect!

Sir Giles: "I don’t want to waste your time. Um, we were looking for a, um, .."

Joss, the Enchanter: "A what?"

Lady Buffy: "You know, the thing..."

Joss, the Enchanter: "The Grrrailll!"

Sir Giles: "Oh, um, yes. Do you know the location of the Grail, O Joss?"

King Xander: "Anything you could do to help would be very, um, helpful."

Joss, the Enchanter: "Yes, I know the location of the Holy Grail."

Lady Buffy: "Could you tell us?"

Joss, the Enchanter: "Yes ,I can help you find the Grrrailll. To the north there lies a cave. The Cave of Kylebannor. Wherein, carved in the living rock, the last words of Olfin Regwein of Regged, make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grrailll."

Sir Giles: "Where could we find this cave, O Joss?"

Joss, the Enchanter: "Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So brave knights, if you doubt your courage, or your strength, come no further! For death awaits you all with nasty, big pointy teeth."

Lady Buffy: "Sharp pointy teeth? I’ll feel right at home. Lead the way, Joss."

Lady Cordelia: "Hey, we’ve beaten evil before."

Sir Robin: "Yes, lead the way. I’ll be right behind you all the way. Way behind."

Joss, the Enchanter: "Very well, you take your own risks. Follow me."

The crusaders follow Joss, the Enchanter down a rocky path they did not see when they entered the clearing. Try as she might, Lady Buffy couldn’t avoid hitting a few nasty rocks with Sir Angels box. (*Think he’ll believe me if I tell him King Xander was pulling him again?*) They near a large cave and stop.