Xander, King of the Cretins: "Why do I always get stuck with you. Ooh, look. A rock."

King Xander: "At last! The Grail. A castle. Food!"

The Girl: "Hello, may I help you?"

King Xander: "Um, I uh...huh?"

The Girl: "Who are you?"

King Xander, looking slightly down: "I am Xander, King of the Cleavage. May all heaving cleavages bow before me."

The Girl: "Excuse me?"

King Xander, looks up quickly: "Oh, I meant I’m Xander, King of the Cretins."

The Girl: "I am Zoot. Just Zoot. What’s in that box?"

King Xander looks at Sir Angels box: "What...that? Just...luggage."

Zoot: "Well, let me take that for you. Come in, you look famished."

King Xander: "I could eat. Just throw that in the corner."

Zoot: "What was that?"

King Xander: "Must have been my stomach. I thought I saw a grail in your window. Do you have one?"

Zoot: "Don’t worry about that. Why don’t you lie down on this bed, and I’ll have supper brought up for you." Xander jumps onto the bed after she leaves the room.

King Xander: "Thank you, God. The Grail could wait a little longer. What’s a few hours, or days."

King Xander: "You wouldn’t happen to be a giant insect, would you?"

Food Girl: "No. I am Dingo, and this is the Castle Anthrax."

King Xander: "Anthrax? Isn’t that a cow disease or a band or something?"

Dingo: "I know its not a very good name, but it came with the castle."

King Xander: "Who are you people?"

Dingo: "We are but four score young females between the ages of 16 and 19. We just sit here and dress and undress, bathe, and make exciting underwear. What do you do?" She leans closer.

King Xander: "I...uh...um...well...Grail...find Grail...it good."

Dingo: "You’re looking for the Holy Grail."

King Xander: "Uh huh."

Dingo: "Then why did you come here?"

King Xander: "I saw it through your wardrobe. I mean, window."

Dingo: "The window! Oh, Zoot. She’s been putting the grail shaped beacon in the window again. Bad Zoot. You will need to spank her."

King Xander: "Well, if I must."

Dingo: "Yes! Then you must spank me, and then the rest of the girls."

King Xander: "That could take days..."

As King Xander contemplates a life of fondling beautiful women, Sir Lancelot barges in and grabs him. His page Patsy grabs Sir Angel’s box.

Sir Lancelot, the Brave: "I’ve come to save you! Just in time!"

King Xander: "But I just got here."

Sir Lancelot: "We must go. The peril is too great."

King Xander: "No. Let me face the peril!"

Dingo: "Yes, let him face the peril!"

Sir Lancelot: "No, the peril is too perilous."

All the girls: "Goodbye!"

King Xander: "This just isn’t fair!"

Lady Willow, the Pure runs up: "Xander! Are you OK!"

King Xander: "Not anymore."

Sir Giles, the Wise: "Those ladies weren’t...OW!" Rubs his stomach where Lady Willow just elbowed him.

Lady Willow: "We’ve got to get away from here and find Buffy. And never come back here, ever."

King Xander: "Why does every woman I meet want to bite off my head?"

Lady Willow: "Did you talk to them?"

King Xander: "Well, yeah."

Lady Willow: "Case closed. Now let’s find Buffy."

King Xander: "At least SHE won’t bite off my head."

Lady Willow: "I might if you keep talking"